Missing the Mark

Have you ever felt like you’ve just completely failed? Like totally, 100 percent, missed the mark without even realizing it until its too late…

I feel that right now.

That still small voice leading me has mentioned doing something that I find a bit scary many, many, many times in the past several months but I was nervous to follow through so I’d constantly quiet the voice by saying “yeah, I’ll do that a bit later…someday…”

Well today, I realized ‘someday’ was too late. I missed my chance…I missed an amazing opportunity to grow + love.

You know what that feels like? It feels like a pit in your stomach. It feels like a sucker punch. It feels like hot tears streaming down your cheeks. It feels like my face pushed against concrete as i’m toppled over onto the floor wailing.

I’m currently in this situation, and I’ve previously found myself in several situations similar to this. From experience, I know these feelings are the type that shape you at your core! They come with two options: option one: You will become better as you never want to experience the pain of this failure + regret again! Option two: this pain causes you to draw back because you’ve failed. I choose option one, wouldn’t you?!

I don’t ever want to feel that sting of regret, and go over the should haves + should not’s ever again. These feelings must drive me to be better, to push beyond!

Luckily my Father doesn’t look down with contempt at my failings, instead He picks me up off the floor + wraps His arms around me + shows me the way to improve- and you know what? Its not through shame, its all through love.