I see a whole lot of posts talking about single life. Well, I just read one such post from a favorite blogger I have followed since college. She’s been single over a year and a half and its scary how involved I feel with her break up! I hurt for her, and have honestly found myself wondering why her relationship ended.
Well, while reading this post I was reminded that I too was recently single. I was still legally married, but living and experiencing life as a single lady for almost an entire year. That thought alone is enough to make my mind swirl- realizing just how hard God has worked to bring my family back together this past year! So this is a real thing. Although it may be few and far between, there are some of us who find ourselves in this situation where we are fully engaged in a fight for our marriages, but are forced to live the single life. What does that actually look like?
I have to say spending an entire year alone, especially while married, was an enormous eye opening experience. I experienced so many firsts that never would have registered as tough. It gave me a huge appreciation for singles, divorcees, and those waiting for God to move. It was so tough. Like when you’re hurting and there is no one is there to comfort you. Or when you experience something wonderful and eye opening and you have no one to share it with! I experienced a whole lot of things! Holidays alone for the first time since college. I experienced a death alone. I experienced happy moments alone. I experienced traveling alone. I experienced learning new things and developing strong new passions alone.
Ok, enough of the bad! Here are the invaluable things i gleaned from my year long stint in singlehood! JESUS IS THE BEST FRIEND EVER! There wasnt a day that I didint write to God and tell Him my feelings or ask Him for direction! I would urge every single person to pour their heart out to the Father no matter how silly some of the feels, requests, desires are! Every dream is important. Every dream is significant. Pour your heart out to Jesus because HE DOES CARE! God is going to reveal Himself through the pages of your journal and you two will begin to decipher each other’s voices so clearly! It will become the most treasured of relationships. Trust me, its the best investment you can ever make! JOURNAL.
Another thing… FAMILY! Ah family is always there. It seems that no matter what I do they always have my back, have the time, and the desire to build me up and make me the best me ever! If you don’t have a family then FRIENDS! Friends are the best. I quickly learned the value of female friends in my life once I was struggling through marital problems. Women get women. Women know emotions, they know hurt, and they know how to comfort! This is something special! I learned to fully embrace my female friends and strengthen the relationships God had blessed me with. While single, I hung out with my girlfriends constantly. Surrounding yourself in a good, strong community while struggling is huge! Use this time as a single woman to strengthen your core crew. These are the people who have been there for me in my worst and best of life, and for this I adore them!
Singlehood, and honestly, ANYHOOD (no matter what season you find yourself in, this still applies), Give your situation to God and ask Him to walk you through it because THERE IS ALWAYS SOMETHING TO BE LEARNED!
For me, it was the importance of learning to cherish and strengthen true relationships and learning my God-given worth. God wrote worth on my arm and gave me amazing friends who supported me in every way I needed! God taught me who I was when I was 26 year old woman. It took several painful lessons, a whole lotta life, some heartache, and a whooooole lotta time until it really sank into my being. But now, I know who I am. I know what I believe in and why, and I know where I am going! These faith lessons have been so fundamental, and instrumental in my development as a Christian woman. I am so thankful for my unexpected year living as a single woman. Wow. How valuable a lesson to learn early in life. I feel so honored to have traveled a tough road while still young! I have a whole lotta life to live…and I’m so excited to be doing so a wiser individual since living through some of these lessons!
Every single season is a gift! There is great purpose in these seasons to develop character traits we need to be our best self. Embrace the seasons fully. If i have learned anything through the messy seasons in my life it is this- not one season was in vain! God was working wonders and developing character and passion deep within me. Know that He is cultivating beauty in you now. Whatever season this find you in. You have the choice to embrace it, and if you do, this season WILL make you the best you yet! Cause thats what God does…makes things beautiful!
He’s the best.